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Nice is a Vice

February 18, 2019

A rejection tells you to be better.

 

Let's get one thing straight: I'm not talking about the "one and done" rejection. This post is NOT about getting rejected once, going home and crying to mommy and feeling bad about it. One rejection shouldn't affect you, period and if it does, talk to me about self-acceptance coaching.

I'm talking about when it seems like the entire world rejects you. When you work your ass off and you have a great idea, a great song, a great business and EVERYONE tells you "NO!" 

This boundary is a gift. Believe me. I've been creating in Budapest for five years. I've had good ideas that no one gets, I've had bad ideas that everyone loves. The greatest gift anyone ever gave me was rejecting my bad ideas because it made me angry, it made me rage, it sparked me until I went home and vowed to make it 10x better and then put it out into the world again. Sometimes that was enough (Improv level 1), other times that too was rejected until I made it 100x, 1000x, 10000x better and started to developed what became RISE Coaching. 

I'm not alone here. Some of the most game-changing movies of all times were created by boundaries. I'm talking Star Wars and I'm talking the Matrix and the proof that boundaries are key to the creative process is in the quality of their Sequels, when the directors were given free-range and produced... well, crap.

Let's rewind the tape and rehash what we mean by boundaries. Because we don't mean the hard "NO!"s that make up less than 1% of our boundaries - the ones that are questions of self-respect. We're talking about the 99% of boundaries that are in reality a negotiation of responsibility, and in particular a negotiation between resources and responsibility. 

George Lucas says "I have a valuable idea and I want $50 million to make it." The Studio says "Go make it 10x better and get back to us." So he does and they give him $10 million. Out of that $10 million he's forced to struggle through the Tunisia Dust Storms and constantly breaking costumes to eek out a masterpiece against all odds. Hell, the Death Star Battle was saved in Editing of all places!

Boundaries make us question our vision. Boundaries make us zoom in. Boundaries force us to leave out what doesn't matter and that is good for art because anything that doesn't matter is distracting. The original Star Wars is airtight. Every frame matters, advancing the characters, world and story. The sequels, with budgets over $100 million are full of distractions in every frame, adding up to a heap of mindless crap.

Ditto the Matrix but even worse. The Matrix made deep philosophy into a mesmerizing block-buster. It was so slick the philosophy was inceptioned into our mind. The Matrix sequels stopped the movie for 10-minute dialogues on post-modern deconstructivism and everyone hated it. Because no one told the Wachowski's to get it together. No one enforced their responsibility. No one had the balls to say "We gave you resources, now you are responsible." Blind trust, it turns out, is no gift to mankind.

Strengthen your boundaries, raise the standrds of your life and those around you, become a person people naturally follow and reap the rewards of knowing who you are and being at peace with your faults and flaws. Then, You. Will. RISE.


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